the difference between the virgin and the matron, utter
the deadliest wishes ; yes, I say, he would rather send
the virgin with her wreath of rosebuds, her tenderness,
her ignorance of the sufferings of life, her dream-pictures
of a holy Eden, into the graveyard of earth, which is
God's field, than into the waste places of life. Yet do it
not, O poet ! The virgin becomes a mother, and gives
birth to the youth and the Eden which have fled from
her ; and to the mother herself they return, and fairer
than before : and so let it be as it is.'
We have of late been going through a transition stage
on the question of giving liberty and independence to
young women. The most enlightened mothers, during the
last twenty years, in their anxiety to be in touch with the
times, have perhaps given their girls too great liberty when
too young, and when the girls have grown older, from fear
perhaps of what people might say, they have made the
fatal mistake of trying to tighten the reins. Let parents
and even young husbands realise that liberty once given
can never be withdrawn from individuals, any more than
from nations, without quarrels and trouble. The liberty
of women within certain limits must grow, and society
will adapt itself to it. The good and the bad will go on
as they have always done, uninfluenced by the swing of
the pendulum or the fiats of fashion. One generation
shows the shoulder and hides the arm, the other covers
up the shoulder and displays the arm. In my mother's
youth it was thought fast to valse, in my youth it was
thought fast to sit out with a partner after dancing, and
now girls valse and sit out and ride bicycles, and none of
these things make or unmake good women.
I should say seventeen or eighteen was quite young
enough for a girl to begin serious study, if she is inclined
that way. In childhood attend to the grace and beauty
of her body, let her know her own language well, teach
DAUGHTERS 331
her music (to discover if she has a taste for it, that can be
developed) and foreign languages, for they cannot be learnt
later, and are of great use to women in many positions
in life. If she shows any taste for drawing, encourage it
in all ways, giving her time in which to do it, but no
serious lessons till she is much older. The drudgery of
early teaching often destroys any taste the child may
have. Pay great attention to handwriting ; a good and
cultivated handwriting is quite easy to acquire young,
and is a continual advantage to a woman through life.
Another thing that mothers should teach their children,
and of which they should ever remind their young men
and women as they grow older, is the extreme importance
of prompt note-answering. The habit of writing notes
and letters, which is now going somewhat out of fashion,
is certainly of great assistance in helping us to obey the
golden rule never to turn a friend into an enemy by mere
carelessness or idleness, for want of a little trouble or of
the explanation which, if neglected, often changes the
whole character of the situation into one that is hard and
difficult, and even in some cases irreparable.
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the difference between the virgin and the matron, utter
the deadliest wishes ; yes, I say, he would rather send
the virgin with her wreath of rosebuds, her tenderness,
her ignorance of the sufferings of life, her dream-pictures
of a holy Eden, into the graveyard of earth, which is
God's field, than into the waste places of life. Yet do it
not, O poet ! The virgin becomes a mother, and gives
birth to the youth and the Eden which have fled from
her ; and to the mother herself they return, and fairer
than before : and so let it be as it is.'
We have of late been going through a transition stage
on the question of giving liberty and independence to
young women. The most enlightened mothers, during the
last twenty years, in their anxiety to be in touch with the
times, have perhaps given their girls too great liberty when
too young, and when the girls have grown older, from fear
perhaps of what people might say, they have made the
fatal mistake of trying to tighten the reins. Let parents
and even young husbands realise that liberty once given
can never be withdrawn from individuals, any more than
from nations, without quarrels and trouble. The liberty
of women within certain limits must grow, and society
will adapt itself to it. The good and the bad will go on
as they have always done, uninfluenced by the swing of
the pendulum or the fiats of fashion. One generation
shows the shoulder and hides the arm, the other covers
up the shoulder and displays the arm. In my mother's
youth it was thought fast to valse, in my youth it was
thought fast to sit out with a partner after dancing, and
now girls valse and sit out and ride bicycles, and none of
these things make or unmake good women.
I should say seventeen or eighteen was quite young
enough for a girl to begin serious study, if she is inclined
that way. In childhood attend to the grace and beauty
of her body, let her know her own language well, teach
DAUGHTERS 331
her music (to discover if she has a taste for it, that can be
developed) and foreign languages, for they cannot be learnt
later, and are of great use to women in many positions
in life. If she shows any taste for drawing, encourage it
in all ways, giving her time in which to do it, but no
serious lessons till she is much older. The drudgery of
early teaching often destroys any taste the child may
have. Pay great attention to handwriting ; a good and
cultivated handwriting is quite easy to acquire young,
and is a continual advantage to a woman through life.
Another thing that mothers should teach their children,
and of which they should ever remind their young men
and women as they grow older, is the extreme importance
of prompt note-answering. The habit of writing notes
and letters, which is now going somewhat out of fashion,
is certainly of great assistance in helping us to obey the
golden rule never to turn a friend into an enemy by mere
carelessness or idleness, for want of a little trouble or of
the explanation which, if neglected, often changes the
whole character of the situation into one that is hard and
difficult, and even in some cases irreparable.