But example, important as it is, will not alone do the work ; love and authority must go hand in hand as its assist- ants, and it is to combine these wisely that is the second great difficulty in the path of parents. To love your children warmly, and yet not to injure them by over-indulgence, to £xact obedience without undue severity, to be firm and unyielding and yet not unkind, to be tender and forgiving and yet not weak, is by no means an easy task, and it is just this that a conscientious parent must strive to be. If you have won your children's confidence by showing tbern that you are what you desire them to be, that your practice and your precept are the same, then the next great requisite in your government of them is, probably, absolute truthful- ness, for any attempt at deceit at once destroys their confi- dence in you, and will, sooner or later, make your authority ON HABITS AND MANNERS. 137 null and void. By absolute truthfulness I mean that you should never tell a child a falsehood even about trifles, that you should never break a promise to a child if it is possible to keep it, that you should do your best to let your children find you neither changeable nor inconsistent. For example, if you have to give medicine to a child, do not attempt to gain your point by saying that the medicine is "good," when it is really disagreeable, for you will rarely be able to deceive a child in that way more than once, and the result will be that you will he distrusted and disbelieved. Tell the child plainly that the medicine is not pleasant to take, but must be taken, and obtain obedience by gentle reason- ing, or, if necessary, by absolute authority. The same course should be pursued in all similar cases, that*is, when you de- sire them to do anything which is disagreeable do not rely up- on deceit, for you will find it a broken reed; but tell the exact truth, and with all possible kindness insist upon obedience. You will find that after two or three experiences of this kind the child's confidence in you will be implicit, and that, furthermore, he will have learned that when you seriously demand his obedience, his easiest course is to give it as quickly and as willingly as possible. And this brings up another point, viz : the folly of entering into unnecessary conflicts with your children, of fretting them needlessly, and irritating them about things which are not essential. 138 ON HABITS AND MANNERS. There are numberless small difficulties into which children are constantly falling which are really of very little im- portance, that is, are not matters of right and wrong, and do not in any way affect a child's moral nature, and of these it is far better for parents to take no notice. Do not tease your children about little things, for this tends to make them fretful and unhappy ; but, on the contrary, give them all the liberty possible, guarding yourself against using your authority so frequently as to make it dreaded or despised. When, however, you do give an order or demand obedience in any form, be sure that there is no evasion ; let your child- ren understand that when you speak, your decision is final, your authority supreme, and, above all, when any conflict arises between yoft and your child, do not at any cost permit the child's will to conquer yours.

AI-modernized reading of the original text

But example, important as it is, will not alone do the work ; love and authority must go hand in hand as its assistants, and it is to combine these wisely that is the second great difficulty in the path of parents. To love your children warmly, and yet not to injure them by over-indulgence, to exact obedience without undue severity, to be firm and unyielding and yet not unkind, to be tender and forgiving and yet not weak, is by no means an easy task, and it is just this that a conscientious parent must strive to be. If you have won your children's confidence by showing tbern that you are what you desire them to be, that your practice and your precept are the same, then the next great requisite in your government of them is, probably, absolute truthfulness, for any attempt at deceit at once destroys their confidence in you, and will, sooner or later, make your authority null and void. By absolute truthfulness I mean that you should never tell a child a falsehood even about trifles, that you should never break a promise to a child if it is possible to keep it, that you should do your best to let your children find you neither changeable nor inconsistent. For example, if you have to give medicine to a child, do not attempt to gain your point by saying that the medicine is "good," when it is really disagreeable, for you will rarely be able to deceive a child in that way more than once, and the result will be that you will be distrusted and disbelieved. Tell the child plainly that the medicine is not pleasant to take, but must be taken, and obtain obedience by gentle reasoning, or, if necessary, by absolute authority. The same course should be pursued in all similar cases, that is, when you desire them to do anything which is disagreeable do not rely upon deceit, for you will find it a broken reed; but tell the exact truth, and with all possible kindness insist upon obedience. You will find that after two or three experiences of this kind the child's confidence in you will be implicit, and that, furthermore, he will have learned that when you seriously demand his obedience, his easiest course is to give it as quickly and as willingly as possible. And this brings up another point, viz : the folly of entering into unnecessary conflicts with your children, of fretting them needlessly, and irritating them about things which are not essential. There are numberless small difficulties into which children are constantly falling which are really of very little importance, that is, are not matters of right and wrong, and do not in any way affect a child's moral nature, and of these it is far better for parents to take no notice. Do not tease your children about little things, for this tends to make them fretful and unhappy ; but, on the contrary, give them all the liberty possible, guarding yourself against using your authority so frequently as to make it dreaded or despised. When, however, you do give an order or demand obedience in any form, be sure that there is no evasion ; let your children understand that when you speak, your decision is final, your authority supreme, and, above all, when any conflict arises between yoft and your child, do not at any cost permit the child's will to conquer yours.

On habits and manners