It is not unusual to hear boys and very young men say,
scornfully or carelessly, that all these things are for girls :
"men" have no time or need for them, but surely in so say-
ing they prove nothing but their own ignorance or laziness.
If you will make a fair trial of this matter you will find that
it is possible to be refined and gentlemanly in spite of hard
work, small opportunities and a rough life, and it is foolish
for you to undervalue the importance to you of a pleasing
and sensible manner. A man's success in life is sure to be
more or less affected by the external proof which he gives of
the training he has received, and it will be greatly to your
advantage if early in life you teach yourselves to be polite
and careful in your behavior to all people.
In your intercourse with all members of the opposite
sex, of whatever class or age, it is proper for you to pay cer-
tain attentions and evince a more marked respect than is
expected from you toward your own sex. There are many
particulars in which your behavior must be modified by the
presence of ladies, and as the social regulations upon this
point are very exact, you will need to study and observe
them with care.
64 ON HABITS AND MANNERS.
When you meet a lady with whom you are acquainted,
in the street, you must bow and remove your hat, and must
usually pass her on the outer side, leaving to her what is
presumably the best and safest part of the path or pavement,
while in walking with a lady you must also take the outer
side. When you are introduced to a lady, bow and speak at
once, and when a lady speaks to you, remember you are
bound to reply, and reply politely, under all circumstances.
If you are walking with a lady who is a friend, you can, in
the evening, offer her your arm, which she can take or re-
fuse, at her own pleasure ; in the daytime you need not offer
your arm, but must be watchful to give any aid she may
seem to require in the way of getting in and out of car-
riages, boats, cars, etc., stepping over any obstacle or avoid-
ing any difficulty.
You must not usually permit a lady to open doors, gates,
etc., for herself, but must open them for her, standing back
to allow her to pass through before you. You must not, on
any account, smoke in a lady's presence, even if she is an
intimate friend or relative, without first asking her permis-
sion, and as to the disgusting habit ot spitting, I trust that I
have already impressed upon you that it is never permissi-
ble before ladies or any number of people.
You must not remain seated while a lady is standing,
but must always try to find for her a comfortable and con-
ON HABITS AND MANNERS. 65
Page 27
Presented as published in 1888. Historical recipes may not meet modern food-safety standards. Cook from the modern interpretation, not the original instructions.
AI-modernized reading of the original text
It is not unusual to hear boys and very young men say, scornfully or carelessly, that all these things are for girls : "men" have no time or need for them, but surely in so saying they prove nothing but their own ignorance or laziness. If you will make a fair trial of this matter you will find that it is possible to be refined and gentlemanly in spite of hard work, small opportunities and a rough life, and it is foolish for you to undervalue the importance to you of a pleasing and sensible manner. A man's success in life is sure to be more or less affected by the external proof which he gives of the training he has received, and it will be greatly to your advantage if early in life you teach yourselves to be polite and careful in your behavior to all people.
In your intercourse with all members of the opposite sex, of whatever class or age, it is proper for you to pay certain attentions and evince a more marked respect than is expected from you toward your own sex. There are many particulars in which your behavior must be modified by the presence of ladies, and as the social regulations upon this point are very exact, you will need to study and observe them with care.
When you meet a lady with whom you are acquainted, in the street, you must bow and remove your hat, and must usually pass her on the outer side, leaving to her what is presumably the best and safest part of the path or pavement, while in walking with a lady you must also take the outer side. When you are introduced to a lady, bow and speak at once, and when a lady speaks to you, remember you are bound to reply, and reply politely, under all circumstances. If you are walking with a lady who is a friend, you can, in the evening, offer her your arm, which she can take or refuse, at her own pleasure ; in the daytime you need not offer your arm, but must be watchful to give any aid she may seem to require in the way of getting in and out of carriages, boats, cars, etc., stepping over any obstacle or avoiding any difficulty.
You must not usually permit a lady to open doors, gates, etc., for herself, but must open them for her, standing back to allow her to pass through before you. You must not, on any account, smoke in a lady's presence, even if she is an intimate friend or relative, without first asking her permission, and as to the disgusting habit ot spitting, I trust that I have already impressed upon you that it is never permissible before ladies or any number of people.
You must not remain seated while a lady is standing, but must always try to find for her a comfortable and con-