In conversation you must not interrupt those who may
be speaking, and you must never yourself talk in a loud
voice or use coarse or rough language, while I advise you
to break yourselves, as quickly as possible, of the habit of
using frequent exclamations of any kind, but especially of
using those which are irreverent, if not actually profane, as
"Good Lord," "My Jesus/' etc. Sneezing, coughing, blow-
ing the nose, etc., must be done as quietly as possible under
cover ot the pocket handkerchief, and you must on no ac-
count take anything from your mouth when you are in the
presence of other people. Ooe of the chief charms in a lady
is gentleness in voice, in manner, in language : a Jady is al-
ways geutle, and loud talking, or boisterous laughter and
gestures, are entirely inadmissible in refined society.
In social gatherings it is not customary for strangers to
speak to one another without being first introduced by some
one who is known to both parties, and this ceremony of in-
troduction consists in bringing together the two people
whom you desire to introduce, and in mentioning the name
4o
ON HABITS AND MANNERS.
of each one to the other, as, for example, "Mrs. Johnson —
Miss Smith Miss Smith — Mr. Jones." the gentleman be-
ing always presented to the lady, and the single to the mar-
ried lady. After this the parties introduced are expected,
under all circumstances, to bow and begin a conversation, in
which, when one of the parties is a gentleman, it is usually
his duty to speak first. An acquaintance begun in this way
may be continued or not, at the pleasure of the individuals
introduced, it being always in the power of one person to
refuse to know another by declining to speak, bow, or other-
wise recognize him or her, but it must be understood that
you must not intentionally fail to recognize any one to whom
you may have been introduced, without good and satisfac-
tory reasons for so doing. It is not customary for a lady to
talk to or accept attentions from gentlemeu whom she does
not know, and I would like to say to you that it is always
better for you t o be too reserved rather than too bold in your
manner, especially with gentlemen, for, as you will soon find,
the respect and courtesy which they show to you will almost
invariably be in proportion to the dignity aud modesty of
your own demeanor. Do not put yourself forward, do not
endeavor to monopolize attention, do not talk much of your-
self or your own affairs, do not in any way presume upon
the general patience, and in conversation endeavor as much
as you can to choose subjects which will interest all who are
ON HABITS AND MANNERS. 41
either listening or talking. Nothing is in worse taste than
to talk in public upon purely personal matters, and it is of-
ten little short of disgusting to well bred people to be obliged
to listen to long descriptions of things and incidents which
should properly only be spoken of between intimate friends
and in privacy. As, for example, you should never talk
before people of the state of your stomach, the medicines you
may be using, your visits to the dentist, any more than you
should in general company pick your teeth, scratch your
head, or clean your nose or ears.
Page 16
Presented as published in 1888. Historical recipes may not meet modern food-safety standards. Cook from the modern interpretation, not the original instructions.
AI-modernized reading of the original text
In conversation you must not interrupt those who may be speaking, and you must never yourself talk in a loud voice or use coarse or rough language, while I advise you to break yourselves, as quickly as possible, of the habit of using frequent exclamations of any kind, but especially of using those which are irreverent, if not actually profane, as "Good Lord," "My Jesus/' etc. Sneezing, coughing, blowing the nose, etc., must be done as quietly as possible under cover of the pocket handkerchief, and you must on no account take anything from your mouth when you are in the presence of other people. One of the chief charms in a lady is gentleness in voice, in manner, in language: a lady is always gentle, and loud talking, or boisterous laughter and gestures, are entirely inadmissible in refined society.
In social gatherings it is not customary for strangers to speak to one another without being first introduced by some one who is known to both parties, and this ceremony of introduction consists in bringing together the two people whom you desire to introduce, and in mentioning the name of each one to the other, as, for example, "Mrs. Johnson — Miss Smith; Miss Smith — Mr. Jones." the gentleman being always presented to the lady, and the single to the married lady. After this the parties introduced are expected, under all circumstances, to bow and begin a conversation, in which, when one of the parties is a gentleman, it is usually his duty to speak first. An acquaintance begun in this way may be continued or not, at the pleasure of the individuals introduced, it being always in the power of one person to refuse to know another by declining to speak, bow, or otherwise recognize him or her, but it must be understood that you must not intentionally fail to recognize any one to whom you may have been introduced, without good and satisfactory reasons for so doing. It is not customary for a lady to talk to or accept attentions from gentlemeu whom she does not know, and I would like to say to you that it is always better for you to be too reserved rather than too bold in your manner, especially with gentlemen, for, as you will soon find, the respect and courtesy which they show to you will almost invariably be in proportion to the dignity and modesty of your own demeanor. Do not put yourself forward, do not endeavor to monopolize attention, do not talk much of yourself or your own affairs, do not in any way presume upon the general patience, and in conversation endeavor as much as you can to choose subjects which will interest all who are
either listening or talking. Nothing is in worse taste than to talk in public upon purely personal matters, and it is often little short of disgusting to well bred people to be obliged to listen to long descriptions of things and incidents which should properly only be spoken of between intimate friends and in privacy. As, for example, you should never talk before people of the state of your stomach, the medicines you may be using, your visits to the dentist, any more than you should in general company pick your teeth, scratch your head, or clean your nose or ears.