Presents. — Having accepted a present, it is your duty, and
ought to be your pleasure, to let the giver see that you make
use of it, as intended, and that it is not thrown away upon you.
If it is an article of dress or of personal decoration, take occa-
sion, on the first suitable opportunity, to wear it in presence of
the giver. If an ornament for the centre table or the mantel-
piece, place it there. If a book, do not delay reading it. After-
wards, speak of it to her as favorably as you can. If of fruit
or flowers, refer to them the next time you see her.
In all cases when a gift is sent to you return a note of
thanks, or at least a verbal message to that effect.
Never inquire of the giver what was the price of her gift,
or where she bought it. To do so is considered extremely
rude.
When an article is presented to you for a specified purpose,
it is your duty to use it for that purpose and for no other, ac-
cording to the wish of the donor. It is mean and dishonorable
to give away a present — at least without obtaining permission
from the original giver. You have no right to be liberal and
generous at the expense of another, or to accept a gift with a
secret determination to bestow it yourself on somebody else.
If it is an article that you do not want — that you possess al-
32 ETIQUETTE.
ready, or that you cannot use for yourself, it is best to say so
candidly, at once expressing your thanks for the offer, and re-
questing your friend to keep it for some other person to whom
it will be advantageous.
It is fit that the purchaser of the gift should have the pleas-
ure of doing a kindness with her own hand, and eliciting the
gratitude of one whom she knows herself.
Making a valuable present to a rich person is, in most cases,
a work of supererogation, unless the gift is of something rare
or unique, which cannot be purchased, and which may be seen
and used to more advantage at the house of your friend than
while in your possession. But to give an expensive article of
dress, jewelery, or furniture, to one whose means of buying
such things are quite equal (if not superior) to your own, is an
absurdity, though not a very uncommon one, as society is
now constituted.
There are persons who, believing that presents are generally
made with some mercenary view, and being unwilling them-
selves to receive favors or incur obligations, make a point of
repaying them as soon as possible by a gift of something equi-
valent. This at once implies that they suspect the motive. If
sincere in her friendship, the donor of the first present will feel
hurt at being directly paid for it, and consider that she has
been treated rudely and unjustly. On the other hand, if com-
pensation was secretly desired and really expected, she will be
disappointed at receiving nothing in return. Therefore, among
persons who can conveniently provide themselves with what-
ever they may desire, the bestowal of presents is generally a
most unthankful business. If you are in opulent circumstances
it is best to limit your generosity to such friends only as do not
abound in the gifts of fortune, and whose situation denies
them the means of indulging their tastes. By them such acts
of kindness will be duly appreciated and gratefully remem-
bered; and the article presented will have a double value if it
is to them a novelty.
Page 19
Presented as published in 1883. Historical recipes may not meet modern food-safety standards. Cook from the modern interpretation, not the original instructions.
AI-modernized reading of the original text
Presents. — Having accepted a present, it is your duty, and ought to be your pleasure, to let the giver see that you make use of it, as intended, and that it is not thrown away upon you. If it is an article of dress or of personal decoration, take occasion, on the first suitable opportunity, to wear it in presence of the giver. If an ornament for the centre table or the mantelpiece, place it there. If a book, do not delay reading it. Afterwards, speak of it to her as favorably as you can. If of fruit or flowers, refer to them the next time you see her.
In all cases when a gift is sent to you return a note of thanks, or at least a verbal message to that effect.
Never inquire of the giver what was the price of her gift, or where she bought it. To do so is considered extremely rude.
When an article is presented to you for a specified purpose, it is your duty to use it for that purpose and for no other, according to the wish of the donor. It is mean and dishonorable to give away a present — at least without obtaining permission from the original giver. You have no right to be liberal and generous at the expense of another, or to accept a gift with a secret determination to bestow it yourself on somebody else. If it is an article that you do not want — that you possess al-
ready, or that you cannot use for yourself, it is best to say so candidly, at once expressing your thanks for the offer, and requesting your friend to keep it for some other person to whom it will be advantageous.
It is fit that the purchaser of the gift should have the pleasure of doing a kindness with her own hand, and eliciting the gratitude of one whom she knows herself.
Making a valuable present to a rich person is, in most cases, a work of supererogation, unless the gift is of something rare or unique, which cannot be purchased, and which may be seen and used to more advantage at the house of your friend than while in your possession. But to give an expensive article of dress, jewelery, or furniture, to one whose means of buying such things are quite equal (if not superior) to your own, is an absurdity, though not a very uncommon one, as society is now constituted.
There are persons who, believing that presents are generally made with some mercenary view, and being unwilling themselves to receive favors or incur obligations, make a point of repaying them as soon as possible by a gift of something equivalent. This at once implies that they suspect the motive. If sincere in her friendship, the donor of the first present will feel hurt at being directly paid for it, and consider that she has been treated rudely and unjustly. On the other hand, if compensation was secretly desired and really expected, she will be disappointed at receiving nothing in return. Therefore, among persons who can conveniently provide themselves with whatever they may desire, the bestowal of presents is generally a most unthankful business. If you are in opulent circumstances it is best to limit your generosity to such friends only as do not abound in the gifts of fortune, and whose situation denies them the means of indulging their tastes. By them such acts of kindness will be duly appreciated and gratefully remembered; and the article presented will have a double value if it is to them a novelty.