When a young lady of fortune is going to be married her
friends are all expected to present her with bridal gifts. It is
a custom that sometimes bears heavily on those whose con-
dition allows them but little to spare. And from that little it
ETIQUETTE. 33
may be very hard for them to squeeze out enough to purchase
some superfluous ornament, or some article for a centre table,
when it is already covered with the gifts of the wealthy — gifts
lavished on one who is really in no need of such things, and
whose marriage confers no benefit on any one but herself.
When the young couple have not an abundance of the
"goods of this world," the case is different; and it may then be
an act of real kindness for the opulent friends of the bride to
present her with any handsome article of dress or of furniture
that they think will be acceptable. What we contend is, that
On the occasion of a marriage in a wealthy family the making
of presents should be confined to the immediate relatives of
the lady, and only to such of them as can well afford it.
At christenings it is, fortunately, the sponsors only that are
expected to make gifts to the infant.
The presentation of Christmas and New Year's gifts is
often a severe tax on persons with whom money is not plenty.
It would be well if it were the universal custom to expect and
receive no presents from any but the rich.
In making gifts to children choose for them only such things
as will afford them somewhat of lasting amusement. For boys,
kites, tops, balls, marbles, wheelbarrows, carts, gardening uten-
sils, and carpenters* tools, &c.
Young ladies should be careful how they accept presents
from gentlemen. No truly modest and dignified woman will
incur such obligations. And no gentleman who really respects
her will offer her anything more than a bouquet, a book, one or
two autographs of distinguished persons, or a few relics or
mementoes of memorable places — things that derive their chief
value from associations. But to present a young lady with
articles of jewelry, or of dress, or with a costly ornament, ought
to be regarded as an offence rather than a compliment, excusa-
ble only in a man sadly ignorant of the refinements of society.
And if he is so, she should set him right, and civilly, but firmly,
refuse to be his debtor.
In presenting a dress to a friend whose circumstances are
not so good as your own, and who you know will gladly re-
ceive it, select one of excellent quality, and of a color that you
think she will like. She will feel mortified if you give her one
that is low-priced, flimsy, and of an unbecoming tint.
8
34 ETIQUETTE.
When you give a dress to a poor woman it is far better to
buy for her a substantial new one than to bestow on her an old
thin dress of your own. The poor have little time to sew for
themselves, and second-hand fine clothes last them but a very
short time before they are fit only for the rag-bag.
Page 20
Presented as published in 1883. Historical recipes may not meet modern food-safety standards. Cook from the modern interpretation, not the original instructions.
AI-modernized reading of the original text
When a young lady of fortune is going to be married her friends are all expected to present her with bridal gifts. It is a custom that sometimes bears heavily on those whose condition allows them but little to spare. And from that little it
may be very hard for them to squeeze out enough to purchase some superfluous ornament, or some article for a centre table, when it is already covered with the gifts of the wealthy — gifts lavished on one who is really in no need of such things, and whose marriage confers no benefit on any one but herself.
When the young couple have not an abundance of the "goods of this world," the case is different; and it may then be an act of real kindness for the opulent friends of the bride to present her with any handsome article of dress or of furniture that they think will be acceptable. What we contend is, that On the occasion of a marriage in a wealthy family the making of presents should be confined to the immediate relatives of the lady, and only to such of them as can well afford it.
At christenings it is, fortunately, the sponsors only that are expected to make gifts to the infant.
The presentation of Christmas and New Year's gifts is often a severe tax on persons with whom money is not plenty. It would be well if it were the universal custom to expect and receive no presents from any but the rich.
In making gifts to children choose for them only such things as will afford them somewhat of lasting amusement. For boys, kites, tops, balls, marbles, wheelbarrows, carts, gardening utensils, and carpenters* tools, &c.
Young ladies should be careful how they accept presents from gentlemen. No truly modest and dignified woman will incur such obligations. And no gentleman who really respects her will offer her anything more than a bouquet, a book, one or two autographs of distinguished persons, or a few relics or mementoes of memorable places — things that derive their chief value from associations. But to present a young lady with articles of jewelry, or of dress, or with a costly ornament, ought to be regarded as an offence rather than a compliment, excusable only in a man sadly ignorant of the refinements of society. And if he is so, she should set him right, and civilly, but firmly, refuse to be his debtor.
In presenting a dress to a friend whose circumstances are not so good as your own, and who you know will gladly receive it, select one of excellent quality, and of a color that you think she will like. She will feel mortified if you give her one that is low-priced, flimsy, and of an unbecoming tint.
When you give a dress to a poor woman it is far better to buy for her a substantial new one than to bestow on her an old thin dress of your own. The poor have little time to sew for themselves, and second-hand fine clothes last them but a very short time before they are fit only for the rag-bag.