We disapprove of ladies going to charity fairs in the even-
ing, when they require a male escort, and when that escort is
likely to be drawn into paying exorbitant prices for gifts to his
fair companion — particularly if induced to do so from the fear
of appearing mean or of being thought wanting in benevolence.
In the evening the young ladies who "have tables" are apt to
become especially importunate in urging the sale of their
goods, and appear to great disadvantage as amateur shop-keep-
ers, exhibiting a boldness in teasing that no real shop-woman
would presume to display. Then the crowd is generally great;
the squeezing and pushing very uncomfortable; and most of
the company far from genteel. Ladies who are ladies should
only visit fancy fairs in the day time, when they can go with-
out gentlemen, none of whom take much pleasure in this mode
of raising money, or rather of levying contributions for special
purposes.
If you have occasion to send by a gentleman a parcel to a
carrier's or railway office give him, along with it, the money to
pay for its carriage. If you borrow change, return it to him
punctually. He ought to take it as a thing of course, without
any comment. When you commission him to buy anything
for you, if you know the price, give him the money before-
hand; otherwise, pay it as soon as he brings the article.
When visiting a fancy shop with a gentleman, refrain from
excessively admiring any handsome or expensive article you
may chance to see there; above all, express no wish that you
were able to buy it, and to regret that you cannot, lest he
should construe these extreme tokens of admiration into hints
that you wish him to buy it for you. To allow him to do so
would, on your part, be very mean and indelicate, and on his
very foolish.
It ought to be a very painful office for young ladies to go
round soliciting from gentlemen subscriptions for charitable
purposes. Still it is done. Subscription papers should only
ETIQUETTE. 31
be offered by persons somewhat advanced in life and of un-
doubted respectability; and then the application should be made
exclusively to those whose circumstances are known to be
affluent. When you ask money for a charitable purpose, do
so only when quite alone with the person to whom you apply.
It is taking an undue advantage to make the request in the
presence of others, particularly if there is not wealth as well
as benevolence. There is a time for all things, and young
ladies are deservedly unpopular when, even in the cause of
charity, they seize every opportunity to levy contributions on
the purses of gentlemen.
It is wrong to trouble gentlemen with commissions that
may cause them inconvenience and expense. We repeat that
a lady cannot be too particular in placing herself under obliga-
tions to a gentleman. She should scrupulously avoid it in
every little thing that may involve him in expense on her ac-
count; and he will respect her the more.
Page 18
Presented as published in 1883. Historical recipes may not meet modern food-safety standards. Cook from the modern interpretation, not the original instructions.
AI-modernized reading of the original text
We disapprove of ladies going to charity fairs in the evening, when they require a male escort, and when that escort is likely to be drawn into paying exorbitant prices for gifts to his fair companion — particularly if induced to do so from the fear of appearing mean or of being thought wanting in benevolence. In the evening the young ladies who "have tables" are apt to become especially importunate in urging the sale of their goods, and appear to great disadvantage as amateur shop-keepers, exhibiting a boldness in teasing that no real shop-woman would presume to display. Then the crowd is generally great; the squeezing and pushing very uncomfortable; and most of the company far from genteel. Ladies who are ladies should only visit fancy fairs in the day time, when they can go without gentlemen, none of whom take much pleasure in this mode of raising money, or rather of levying contributions for special purposes.
If you have occasion to send by a gentleman a parcel to a carrier's or railway office give him, along with it, the money to pay for its carriage. If you borrow change, return it to him punctually. He ought to take it as a thing of course, without any comment. When you commission him to buy anything for you, if you know the price, give him the money beforehand; otherwise, pay it as soon as he brings the article.
When visiting a fancy shop with a gentleman, refrain from excessively admiring any handsome or expensive article you may chance to see there; above all, express no wish that you were able to buy it, and to regret that you cannot, lest he should construe these extreme tokens of admiration into hints that you wish him to buy it for you. To allow him to do so would, on your part, be very mean and indelicate, and on his very foolish.
It ought to be a very painful office for young ladies to go round soliciting from gentlemen subscriptions for charitable purposes. Still it is done. Subscription papers should only
be offered by persons somewhat advanced in life and of undoubted respectability; and then the application should be made exclusively to those whose circumstances are known to be affluent. When you ask money for a charitable purpose, do so only when quite alone with the person to whom you apply. It is taking an undue advantage to make the request in the presence of others, particularly if there is not wealth as well as benevolence. There is a time for all things, and young ladies are deservedly unpopular when, even in the cause of charity, they seize every opportunity to levy contributions on the purses of gentlemen.
It is wrong to trouble gentlemen with commissions that may cause them inconvenience and expense. We repeat that a lady cannot be too particular in placing herself under obligations to a gentleman. She should scrupulously avoid it in every little thing that may involve him in expense on her account; and he will respect her the more.