they are sly as well as conceited, they may now make a case against
us, which may be just what they want to do. They may say of us
to others that really we are so ridiculously sensitive that if they don't
go into ecstasies on meeting us we fancy they want to cut our ac-
quaintance. This makes us feel more annoyed than beforis, and then,
if they are malevolent and like to wound our feelings, as well as
superior to us in cunning, they may not only say to others that wc
are always fancying ourselves slighted, but they may say to us, point
blank, when we ask why they are not as cordial as formerly: " Really,
indeed, upon my word, you surprise me by the question. Upon my
word, deeply, of course, as I esteem you and all that, and admire
your family and all that, I have something else to do than to be
always thinking about you. I cannot always have the exact warmth
that you require. I am so extremely sorry that my manner should
have made you unhappy. Positively, just tell me what degree of
the thermometer of greeting you wish me to keep up," and so on,
until we go home ready to burst with humiliation and annoyance,
which is just what our cunning acquaintance desired. We have put
ourselves in their power by asking the reason of a slight which was,
no doubt, both intentional and malicious, but which it is the easiest
thing in the world for them to pretend unconsciousness about. Now,
of course, we are compelled to vindicate our own independence and
self-respect by being cold to them, but this only puts us still further
in the wrong if they are craftier than we are. They can make us
ridiculous to the neighborhood by pretending that we are so sensi-
tive that we must be treated with the greatest care and punctilio for
fear we should take offense. Many kind-hearted, unselfish persons
are put upon a rack of social torture by just such accidents as these.
And how did it begin ? Why, the chances are that at our own fire-
side we unguardedly said something about the other party's mind
or manners, forgetting that Miss Tattle or Mr. Teller, who happened
to be calling upon us at the time, would be sure to repeat it until
it reached the ears of the person spoken of, even if it were not carried
direct.
21
322 THE hearthstone; OR, LIFE AT HOME.
In civilized places, where men don't carry loaded revolvers at
noonday and shoot each other for an idle word, a downright, hearty-
quarrel is better than this underground misunderstanding. A true
lady or gentleman is always ready to apologize when they are in the
wrong, and, to take back an offensive speech inadvertently made.
Thackeray went the right way to work on his visit to this country
when he was told that a Dr. Griswold, a writer, had spoken of him
as a snob. Meeting him at dinner and being introduced to him he
extended his hand frankly, and said : " I understand, Dr. Griswold,
that you have called me a snob. Now, sir," — drawing himself up to
his full height, which was over six feet — " look at me and tell me,
do I look like a snob ? " There is nothing like having it out with an
adversary before the wound has time to mortify or the injury — real
or supposed — to fester or grow inwards.
Page 210
Presented as published in 1883. Historical recipes may not meet modern food-safety standards. Cook from the modern interpretation, not the original instructions.
AI-modernized reading of the original text
they are sly as well as conceited, they may now make a case against us, which may be just what they want to do. They may say of us to others that really we are so ridiculously sensitive that if they don't go into ecstasies on meeting us we fancy they want to cut our acquaintance. This makes us feel more annoyed than before, and then, if they are malevolent and like to wound our feelings, as well as superior to us in cunning, they may not only say to others that wc are always fancying ourselves slighted, but they may say to us, point blank, when we ask why they are not as cordial as formerly: " Really, indeed, upon my word, you surprise me by the question. Upon my word, deeply, of course, as I esteem you and all that, and admire your family and all that, I have something else to do than to be always thinking about you. I cannot always have the exact warmth that you require. I am so extremely sorry that my manner should have made you unhappy. Positively, just tell me what degree of the thermometer of greeting you wish me to keep up," and so on, until we go home ready to burst with humiliation and annoyance, which is just what our cunning acquaintance desired. We have put ourselves in their power by asking the reason of a slight which was, no doubt, both intentional and malicious, but which it is the easiest thing in the world for them to pretend unconsciousness about. Now, of course, we are compelled to vindicate our own independence and self-respect by being cold to them, but this only puts us still further in the wrong if they are craftier than we are. They can make us ridiculous to the neighborhood by pretending that we are so sensitive that we must be treated with the greatest care and punctilio for fear we should take offense. Many kind-hearted, unselfish persons are put upon a rack of social torture by just such accidents as these. And how did it begin ? Why, the chances are that at our own fireside we unguardedly said something about the other party's mind or manners, forgetting that Miss Tattle or Mr. Teller, who happened to be calling upon us at the time, would be sure to repeat it until it reached the ears of the person spoken of, even if it were not carried
direct.
322 THE hearthstone; OR, LIFE AT HOME.
In civilized places, where men don't carry loaded revolvers at noonday and shoot each other for an idle word, a downright, hearty quarrel is better than this underground misunderstanding. A true lady or gentleman is always ready to apologize when they are in the wrong, and, to take back an offensive speech inadvertently made. Thackeray went the right way to work on his visit to this country when he was told that a Dr. Griswold, a writer, had spoken of him as a snob. Meeting him at dinner and being introduced to him he extended his hand frankly, and said : " I understand, Dr. Griswold, that you have called me a snob. Now, sir," — drawing himself up to his full height, which was over six feet — " look at me and tell me, do I look like a snob ? " There is nothing like having it out with an adversary before the wound has time to mortify or the injury — real or supposed — to fester or grow inwards.