Pot-pourri from a Surrey garden

I think it often surprises people, and especially men, that middle-aged women, even those who have no daughters, are so energetic and indefatigable in their efforts to go into society in a way they rather avoided than courted when they were younger. Society is always only too glad to shunt the middle-aged, and the middle- aged themselves so often feel it to be only a treadmill. I am sure the secret is to be found, consciously or uncon- sciously, in the love of power. It gives people the opportunities to help, not only their own children, if they have any, but other people in whom they may happen to be interested, who are often benefited by an opportune DAUGHTERS 351 word in high places. This is what transforms the tread- mill and the burden and the labour into something so worth while that it almost becomes a pleasure. In entertaining at home, our object should be rather to help those who want help, and who may unex- pectedly rise into positions of power and trust, than always to be making up to those who are already in high places, and who are full of suspicion with regard to the civilities that are paid to them. To practise the wisdom of life, without standing on the stilts of higher morality, is rather a virtue than a vice in the middle-aged. It is as old as JEsop, who bids us not to despise making up to the mice ; for though you yourself may be very much a lion, the day may come when you will need the services of a mouse. We all know La Fontaine's summing-up of the old story : — ' II faut, autant qu'on peut, obliger tout le monde. On a souvent besoin d'un plus petit que soi.' One of the unexpected consolations to a woman who is leaving her youth behind her, is that she can take broader and more lenient views of the moral faults indulged in by her friends and acquaintances. It is a revelation that comes sooner or later to every woman how much is excused and sanctioned by society which in her youth would have seemed to her impossible. The middle-aged woman may often say to herself, half in fun, ' After all, a little remorse is better than a vast amount of regret. At any rate,' she adds, ' I will not police society. I might crush the weak, and I should do no harm to the strong.' Is it not true and even beautiful that ' tout comprendre c'est tout pardonner ' ? Middle-age is essentially the time of a lowered moral standard. This is the attitude of mind, let us say, between forty and fifty — a little sooner or a little later, according to the tem- perament. Then comes another phase, which is in no sense an hypocritical one. As the young around us grow 352 POT-POURRI FROM A SURREY GARDEN