Pot-pourri from a Surrey garden

We often discover in families the ideal woman of family life. She is always willing to immolate herself on the altar of duty and unselfishness, unconscious of this at the time, because to serve others is her pleasure, and consequently for the moment the development of her own nature. That woman, especially if she has intelligence as well, fills a want in the world that everyone acknowledges and admires. But, unless the situation is carefully watched, she herself may dis- cover too late that she has let her youth go by in the suppression of herself, and, without intending it, has ruined her own life. The one thing that is of vital importance is that the young should never be sacrificed to the old or the healthy to the unhealthy. Even if the mother and daughter work well together, there is hardly enough to occupy the time of two women, and divided rule never is satisfactory. It is a common view that housekeeping is rather an inferior employment for women, and only done well by the commonplace, who are devoted to it. I do not think this, though I quite admit that housekeeping is often very tiresome — or, rather, I would say wearisome — and every woman pines to get away from it now and then. Every head of a house — be she wife, mother or daughter — has to do it, and no woman worth 348 POT-POURRI FROM A SURREY GARDEN her salt likes to do a thing and do it badly. If it is badly done, it is a humiliation ; when it is well done, it becomes a pride : and the approval of those we love is always a joy. Men differ, of course, very much in their apprecia- tion of cooking and other housekeeping matters. When the man cares, though he scold, or sigh and look miserable when things go wrong, it is more stimulating to the woman than when he appears indifferent ; but all men and most women appreciate a well-kept house, though I have heard there are some women who make such grievance over their duties that the man almost wishes they were left alone. One of the most useful gifts in life is to be able to organise, command, and instruct others ; to use, in fact, the materials under your hand, instead of doing every- thing yourself. Servants certainly do not respect those who do their work for them, and the irresponsibility of the situation only makes them careless and indifferent. On the other hand, it should be thoroughly realised that no one can depute to others the control of their ex- penditure without greatly increasing it. In cooking, in dressmaking, in gardening, it is, so to speak, the scientific and aesthetic part which really ought to be done by the mistress of the house. She has time to study the books and newspapers ; and if she really knows her work she will find no difficulty in teaching it. Every generation is known to complain that servants have become useless and bad. I see no difference during my life-time ; in fact, I should say that the proportion of good servants had increased, rather than the contrary. Of course, their customs and ways have changed with telegrams, posts, and railways, as have the habits of everybody else ; and if any housekeeper has moments of depression, as we all have when things go cross, and thinks the world is going to the dogs, may I recommend DAUGHTERS 349 a little study of eighteenth-century literature — above all, Boswell's ' Life of Johnson.'