Out eventually lessening herself in his eyes. Of this she may
rest assured. With some men it is even dangerous for a lady
to write a note on the commonest subject. He may show the
superscription or the signature, or both, to his idle friends, and
make insinuations much to her disadvantage, which his com-
rades will be sure to circulate and exaggerate.
Above all, let no lady correspond with a married man, un-
less she is obliged to consult him on business, and from that
plain, straightforward path let her not diverge. Even if the
wife sees and reads every letter, she will, in all probability, feel
a touch of jealousy (or more than a touch) if she finds that
they excite interest in her husband or give him pleasure. This
will inevitably be the case if the married lady is inferior in in-
tellect to the single one, and has a lurking consciousness that
she is so.
Having hinted what the correspondence of young ladies
ought not to be, we will try to convey some idea of what it
ought. Let us premise that there is no danger of any errors
in grammar or spelling, and but few faults of punctuation, and
that the fair writers are aware that a sentence should always
conclude with a period, or full stop, to be followed by a capi-
tal letter beginning the next sentence, and that a new para-
graph should be allotted to every change of subject, provided
that there is room on the sheet of paper. And still it is well
to have always at hand a dictionary and a grammar, in case of
unaccountable lapses of memory. However, persons who have
read much, and read to advantage, generally find themselves at
no loss in orthography, grammar, and punctuation. To spell
badly is disgraceful to a lady or gentleman, and it looks as if
they had finished reading as soon as they left school.
The wording of your letter should be as much like conver-
sation as possible, containing, in a condensed form, just what
you would be most likely to talk about if you saw your friend.
A letter is of no use unless it conveys some information, excites
some interest, or affords some improvement. It may be hand-
somely written, correct in spelling, punctuation, and grammar,
and yet stiff and formal in style — affectedly didactic, arid, there-
fore tiresome, or mawkishly sentimental, and, therefore, foolish.
It may be refined and high-flown in words, but flat and barren
4*3 EtlQUETtB.
in ideas, containing nothing that a correspondent cares to
know.
Inexperienced letter writers often feel provoked with them-
selves when they have filled a sheet without touching upon
some topics that they fully intended to introduce, and perceive
they have spread out one of inferior importance over half their
paper. This may be avoided by considering before you begin
all that you wish to write about, and allowing to each topic its
proper space.
If your correspondent requires that her letters be kept
private from all friends, make it a point of honor to comply
with her wishes, only make an exception in favor of your
mother, in case she should desire to see the correspondence,
for young ladies shold gracefully acknowledge their parents'
right of inspection; though, where there is a proper confidence
on both sides, it will rarely be enforced.
Page 26
Presented as published in 1883. Historical recipes may not meet modern food-safety standards. Cook from the modern interpretation, not the original instructions.
AI-modernized reading of the original text
Out eventually lessening herself in his eyes. Of this she may rest assured. With some men it is even dangerous for a lady to write a note on the commonest subject. He may show the superscription or the signature, or both, to his idle friends, and make insinuations much to her disadvantage, which his comrades will be sure to circulate and exaggerate.
Above all, let no lady correspond with a married man, unless she is obliged to consult him on business, and from that plain, straightforward path let her not diverge. Even if the wife sees and reads every letter, she will, in all probability, feel a touch of jealousy (or more than a touch) if she finds that they excite interest in her husband or give him pleasure. This will inevitably be the case if the married lady is inferior in intellect to the single one, and has a lurking consciousness that she is so.
Having hinted what the correspondence of young ladies ought not to be, we will try to convey some idea of what it ought. Let us premise that there is no danger of any errors in grammar or spelling, and but few faults of punctuation, and that the fair writers are aware that a sentence should always conclude with a period, or full stop, to be followed by a capital letter beginning the next sentence, and that a new paragraph should be allotted to every change of subject, provided that there is room on the sheet of paper. And still it is well to have always at hand a dictionary and a grammar, in case of unaccountable lapses of memory. However, persons who have read much, and read to advantage, generally find themselves at no loss in orthography, grammar, and punctuation. To spell badly is disgraceful to a lady or gentleman, and it looks as if they had finished reading as soon as they left school.
The wording of your letter should be as much like conversation as possible, containing, in a condensed form, just what you would be most likely to talk about if you saw your friend. A letter is of no use unless it conveys some information, excites some interest, or affords some improvement. It may be handsomely written, correct in spelling, punctuation, and grammar, and yet stiff and formal in style — affectedly didactic, arid, therefore tiresome, or mawkishly sentimental, and, therefore, foolish. It may be refined and high-flown in words, but flat and barren
[illustration: 443 ETIQUETTE]
in ideas, containing nothing that a correspondent cares to know.
Inexperienced letter writers often feel provoked with themselves when they have filled a sheet without touching upon some topics that they fully intended to introduce, and perceive they have spread out one of inferior importance over half their paper. This may be avoided by considering before you begin all that you wish to write about, and allowing to each topic its proper space.
If your correspondent requires that her letters be kept private from all friends, make it a point of honor to comply with her wishes, only make an exception in favor of your mother, in case she should desire to see the correspondence, for young ladies should gracefully acknowledge their parents' right of inspection; though, where there is a proper confidence on both sides, it will rarely be enforced.