When you give a gratuity to a servant — for instance, to the
man who waits on you at table, of he that attends your room,
or to the chambermaid or messenger — give it at no regular
time, but whenever you think proper or find it convenient. It
is injudicious to allow them to suppose that they are to do you
no particular service without being immediately paid for it. It
is, at the same time, right and customary to pay them extra for
carrying your baggage up and down stairs when you are de-
parting from the house or returning to it. If you are a perma-
nent boarder, and, from ill health, require extra attendance, it
is well to give a certain sum monthly to each of the servants
who wait upon you, and then they will not expect anything
more except on extraordinary occasions.
All persons who go to hotels are not able to lavish large
and frequent gratuities on the servants. But all, for the price
they pay to the proprietor, are entitled to an ample share of
attention from the domestics.
40 ETIQUETTE.
In all hotels it is against the rule to take oiit of the ladies*
drawing-room any books that may be placed there for the gen-
eral convenience of the company, such as dictionaries, guide-
books, directories, magazines, &c. If you borrow a file of
newspapers from the reading room, get done with it as
soon as you can, lest it should be wanted by others, and as
soon as you have finished ring for a servant to carry the file
back.
.Correspondence. — Much time is wasted, particularly by
young ladies, in writing and answering such epistles as are
termed ''letters of friendship" — meaning long documents filled
with regrets at absence, asseverations of affection, modest de-
precations of self, and flattering references to the correspon-
dent, or else anticipations of what may be coming and lamen^
tations of what may be past, which are of no manner of use but
to foster a sickly, morbid feeling, to encourage nonsense, and
destroy a relish for such true friendship as is good and whole-
some.
A still worse species of voluminous female correspondence
is that which turns entirely on love, or rather on what are
called *'beaux," or entirely on hate — for instance, hatred ot
stepmothers. This topic is considered the more piquant from
its impropriety, and from its being carried on in secret.
Then there are young ladies born with the organ of letter
writing amazingly developed and increased by habitual prac^
tice, who can scarcely become acquainted with a gentleman
possessing brains, without volunteering a correspondence witlj
him. And then ensues a long epistolary dialogue abou*l
nothing, or, at least, nothing worth reading or remembering;
trenching closely on gallantry, but still not quite that; affected
simplicity on the part of the lady, and an unaffected imperti-
nence on that of the gentleman, alternating with pretended
poutings on her side and half or whole laughing apologies on
his. Sometimes there are attempts at moralizing or criticizing,
or sentimentalizing — but nothing is ever elicited that, to a third
person, can afiford the least amusement or improvement, or ex-
cite the least interest.
No young lady ever engages in a correspondence with a
gentleman who is neither her relative nor her betrothed with-
ETIQUETTE. 41
Page 25
Presented as published in 1883. Historical recipes may not meet modern food-safety standards. Cook from the modern interpretation, not the original instructions.
AI-modernized reading of the original text
When you give a gratuity to a servant — for instance, to the man who waits on you at table, or he that attends your room, or to the chambermaid or messenger — give it at no regular time, but whenever you think proper or find it convenient. It is injudicious to allow them to suppose that they are to do you no particular service without being immediately paid for it. It is, at the same time, right and customary to pay them extra for carrying your baggage up and down stairs when you are departing from the house or returning to it. If you are a permanent boarder, and, from ill health, require extra attendance, it is well to give a certain sum monthly to each of the servants who wait upon you, and then they will not expect anything more except on extraordinary occasions.
All persons who go to hotels are not able to lavish large and frequent gratuities on the servants. But all, for the price they pay to the proprietor, are entitled to an ample share of attention from the domestics.
In all hotels it is against the rule to take out of the ladies* drawing-room any books that may be placed there for the general convenience of the company, such as dictionaries, guidebooks, directories, magazines, &c. If you borrow a file of newspapers from the reading room, get done with it as soon as you can, lest it should be wanted by others, and as soon as you have finished ring for a servant to carry the file back.
.Correspondence. — Much time is wasted, particularly by young ladies, in writing and answering such epistles as are termed ''letters of friendship" — meaning long documents filled with regrets at absence, asseverations of affection, modest deprecations of self, and flattering references to the correspondent, or else anticipations of what may be coming and lamentations of what may be past, which are of no manner of use but to foster a sickly, morbid feeling, to encourage nonsense, and destroy a relish for such true friendship as is good and wholesome.
A still worse species of voluminous female correspondence is that which turns entirely on love, or rather on what are called *'beaux," or entirely on hate — for instance, hatred ot stepmothers. This topic is considered the more piquant from its impropriety, and from its being carried on in secret.
Then there are young ladies born with the organ of letter writing amazingly developed and increased by habitual practice, who can scarcely become acquainted with a gentleman
possessing brains, without volunteering a correspondence witlj him. And then ensues a long epistolary dialogue about nothing, or, at least, nothing worth reading or remembering; trenching closely on gallantry, but still not quite that; affected simplicity on the part of the lady, and an unaffected impertinence on that of the gentleman, alternating with pretended poutings on her side and half or whole laughing apologies on his. Sometimes there are attempts at moralizing or criticizing, or sentimentalizing — but nothing is ever elicited that, to a third person, can afiford the least amusement or improvement, or excite the least interest.
No young lady ever engages in a correspondence with a gentleman who is neither her relative nor her betrothed with-