The hostess should be in the parlor prepared to receive
her visitor, and to give her at once a seat in the corner of a
sofa, or on a fauteuil, or large comfortable chair; if a rocking-
chair, a footstool is an indispensable appendage. But rocking-
chairs are now seldom seen in a parlor; handsome, stuffed easy
chairs that are moved on castors are substituted.
If in consequence of dining very late you are in the habit
of also taking tea at a late hour — or making but slighf prepar-
ations for that repast — waive that custom when you expect a
friend whom you know to be in the practice of dining early,
and who, perhaps, has walked far enough to feel fatigued and
to acquire an appetite. For her accommodation order the tea
earlier than usual, and let it be what may be called a substan-
tial tea. If there is ample room at table, do not have the tea
carried round, particularly if you have but one servant to hand
the whole. It is tedious, inconvenient, and unsatisfactory.
The absurd practice of eating in gloves has been wisely abol-
ished among genteel people.
Do not, in sitting down to table, inform your guest that
"you make no stranger of her," or that you fear she will not
be able to enjoy your "plain fare." These apologies are un-
genteel and foolish. If your circumstances will not allow you
on any consideration to make a little improvement in your
usual family fare, your friend is, in all probability, aware of
the fact, and will not wish or expect you to incur any incon-
28 ETIQUETTE.
veriieht expense on her account. But, if you are known to
possess the means of living well, you ought to do so; and to
consider a good though not an extravagantly luxurious table
as a necessary part of your expenditure. There is a vast dif-
ference between laudable economy and mean economy; the
latter (whether it shows itself in bad food, bad fires, bad lights,
bad servants) is never excused in persons who dress extrava-
gantly and live surrounded by costly furniture, and who are
known to be wealthy and able to afford comfort as [well as
show.
If you invite a friend to tea in whose own family there is
no gentleman or no man-servant, it is your duty previously to
ascertain that you can provide her on that evening with an es-
cort home. If you keep a carriage, it will be most kind to
send her home in it.
In inviting a few friends, which means a small, select com-
pany, endeavor to bring together people who have community
of tastes, feelings and ideas. If you mix the dull and stupid
with the bright and animated, the cold and formal with the
frank and lively, the professedly serious with the gay and cheer-
ful, the light with the heavy, and, above all, those who pride
themselves on their birth with those who boast of "belonging to
the people;" none of these "few friends" will enjoy each other's
society — the evening will not go off agreeably, and you, and
the other members of your family, will have the worst of it.
The plcasantest people in the room will naturally congregate
together, and the task of entertaining the unentertainable will
devolve on yourself and your own people.
Page 16
Presented as published in 1883. Historical recipes may not meet modern food-safety standards. Cook from the modern interpretation, not the original instructions.
AI-modernized reading of the original text
The hostess should be in the parlor prepared to receive her visitor, and to give her at once a seat in the corner of a sofa, or on a fauteuil, or large comfortable chair; if a rockingchair, a footstool is an indispensable appendage. But rockingchairs are now seldom seen in a parlor; handsome, stuffed easy chairs that are moved on castors are substituted.
If in consequence of dining very late you are in the habit of also taking tea at a late hour — or making but slighf preparations for that repast — waive that custom when you expect a friend whom you know to be in the practice of dining early, and who, perhaps, has walked far enough to feel fatigued and to acquire an appetite. For her accommodation order the tea earlier than usual, and let it be what may be called a substantial tea. If there is ample room at table, do not have the tea carried round, particularly if you have but one servant to hand the whole. It is tedious, inconvenient, and unsatisfactory. The absurd practice of eating in gloves has been wisely abolished among genteel people.
Do not, in sitting down to table, inform your guest that "you make no stranger of her," or that you fear she will not be able to enjoy your "plain fare." These apologies are ungenteel and foolish. If your circumstances will not allow you on any consideration to make a little improvement in your usual family fare, your friend is, in all probability, aware of the fact, and will not wish or expect you to incur any inconvenient expense on her account. But, if you are known to possess the means of living well, you ought to do so; and to consider a good though not an extravagantly luxurious table as a necessary part of your expenditure. There is a vast difference between laudable economy and mean economy; the latter (whether it shows itself in bad food, bad fires, bad lights, bad servants) is never excused in persons who dress extravagantly and live surrounded by costly furniture, and who are known to be wealthy and able to afford comfort as well as show.
If you invite a friend to tea in whose own family there is no gentleman or no man-servant, it is your duty previously to ascertain that you can provide her on that evening with an escort home. If you keep a carriage, it will be most kind to send her home in it.
In inviting a few friends, which means a small, select company, endeavor to bring together people who have community of tastes, feelings and ideas. If you mix the dull and stupid with the bright and animated, the cold and formal with the frank and lively, the professedly serious with the gay and cheerful, the light with the heavy, and, above all, those who pride themselves on their birth with those who boast of "belonging to the people;" none of these "few friends" will enjoy each other's society — the evening will not go off agreeably, and you, and the other members of your family, will have the worst of it. The plcasantest people in the room will naturally congregate together, and the task of entertaining the unentertainable will devolve on yourself and your own people.