" Indeed, my dear Mrs. S., how you surprise me ! Why, when I
last saw you, you seemed delighted with your new girl, and said that
after trying six in three months you had at last found a treasure.
Pray put your dusting-brush down and tell me all about it, for the
fact is I called partly to ask you if you could recommend me a nurse
for the children, thinking you had been more fortunate with servants
than myself, for I have changed my nursery maid thirteen times since
New Year's."
" Then, my dear friend, we can indeed feel for each other. Pray
tell me why, your last girl left."
" For the first week she suited me very well, but what do you
think ? My husband awoke me one night and said he smelt smoke,
and that something must be burning. After sniffing for some seconds
to satisfy myself that the poor, dear man was not dreaming, I got up,
lit a candle, and proceeded to make an investigation. Going up-
" UP-STAIRS, DOWN-STAIKS, IN MV LADV S CHAMBER." 75
stairs, to the girl's bedroom, I looked in, for I always keep the key
of the door so that the maids may not lock themselves in, for they
would sleep till ail hours if they were free from intrusion. What do
you think ? The creature had fallen asleep with a dime love-story in
her hand, and on a chair beside her was a tallow candle which was
slowly burning the ends of her back hair. But for my husband's
nose it must soon have caught her bed, and the creature would
have been a conflagrated corpse, besides burning the house down!"
" How dreadful, to be sure ! Did she come well recommended
from her last place ? "
"Yes, indeed; she had lived at Mr. Smith's, the minister' .s, who
is himself a great sitter up o' nights at his studies. The girl herself
told me this, and said she thought she was doing right in improving
her mind in the night-time. But this was not all. On opening her
box to see if she kept matches or dynamite, I found a whole budget
of love-letters, no doubt the result of dime novel reading. I got rid
of her in the morning, for fear the inflammable Miss might set fire
to the children or set her cap for the coachman."
" Goodness ! how horrible ! who can be safe, with such servants,
from being burned alive in their beds ! But my own luck with mj-
last girl, Mary Ann, was little better. I shall never believe in faces
again as long as I live. You must know that I had engaged to spend
the day a little way out of town, but lost the train and had to wait
two hours for another. I thought I would fill up the time by making
a call or two. Just imagine my consternation on turning down High
street to come fiice to face with my own servant, dressed in my dark-
green silk, second best bonnet with the ostrich plumes, lavender kid-
gloves, and my flowered silk parasol in her hand. She looked ready
to drop when she caught my eye, and darted across the street. But
a policeman was at hand and took her to the station-house, where
the matron took my things off her. The girl's penitence seemed sin-
cere when she thought she had to borrow a policeman's overcoat to
get home in. I would have sent her to state's prison, but my hus-
band is a patriot and was much moved when she assured us that her
great-grandfather lost both legs in the Revolutionary war."
76 THE hearthstone; or, life at home.
Page 43
Presented as published in 1883. Historical recipes may not meet modern food-safety standards. Cook from the modern interpretation, not the original instructions.
AI-modernized reading of the original text
" Indeed, my dear Mrs. S., how you surprise me ! Why, when I last saw you, you seemed delighted with your new girl, and said that after trying six in three months you had at last found a treasure. Pray put your dusting-brush down and tell me all about it, for the fact is I called partly to ask you if you could recommend me a nurse for the children, thinking you had been more fortunate with servants than myself, for I have changed my nursery maid thirteen times since New Year's."
" Then, my dear friend, we can indeed feel for each other. Pray tell me why, your last girl left."
" For the first week she suited me very well, but what do you think ? My husband awoke me one night and said he smelt smoke, and that something must be burning. After sniffing for some seconds to satisfy myself that the poor, dear man was not dreaming, I got up, lit a candle, and proceeded to make an investigation. Going up-
"UP-STAIRS, DOWN-STAIRS, IN MY LADY'S CHAMBER."
stairs, to the girl's bedroom, I looked in, for I always keep the key of the door so that the maids may not lock themselves in, for they would sleep till ail hours if they were free from intrusion. What do you think ? The creature had fallen asleep with a dime love-story in her hand, and on a chair beside her was a tallow candle which was slowly burning the ends of her back hair. But for my husband's nose it must soon have caught her bed, and the creature would have been a conflagrated corpse, besides burning the house down!"
" How dreadful, to be sure ! Did she come well recommended from her last place ? "
"Yes, indeed; she had lived at Mr. Smith's, the minister' .s, who is himself a great sitter up o' nights at his studies. The girl herself told me this, and said she thought she was doing right in improving her mind in the night-time. But this was not all. On opening her box to see if she kept matches or dynamite, I found a whole budget of love-letters, no doubt the result of dime novel reading. I got rid of her in the morning, for fear the inflammable Miss might set fire to the children or set her cap for the coachman."
" Goodness ! how horrible ! who can be safe, with such servants, from being burned alive in their beds ! But my own luck with mjlast girl, Mary Ann, was little better. I shall never believe in faces again as long as I live. You must know that I had engaged to spend the day a little way out of town, but lost the train and had to wait two hours for another. I thought I would fill up the time by making a call or two. Just imagine my consternation on turning down High street to come fiice to face with my own servant, dressed in my darkgreen silk, second best bonnet with the ostrich plumes, lavender kidgloves, and my flowered silk parasol in her hand. She looked ready to drop when she caught my eye, and darted across the street. But a policeman was at hand and took her to the station-house, where the matron took my things off her. The girl's penitence seemed sincere when she thought she had to borrow a policeman's overcoat to get home in. I would have sent her to state's prison, but my husband is a patriot and was much moved when she assured us that her great-grandfather lost both legs in the Revolutionary war."
76 THE hearthstone; or, life at home.