Then, perhaps, late at night, when the stomach, like the brain, should not be called upon to do hard work, they cram down hunches of new bread and slices of cheese and butter, with perhaps a glass of milk and some pickles with vinegar to turn the whole sour, and then they get up in the night and rave and tear their hair and wonder what is the matter with them, and why they cannot get a wink of sleep. Next morning they feel bad and drink mineral waters before breakfast, thus further injuring the coats of the stomach, and they go through the day feeling that they are very badly used, and accus- ing every smiling face they meet of mocking at their misery, and wishing some one would only quarrel with them so as to give them an opportunity of speaking their mind and relieving their ill humor. The druggist tells them that they are utterly out of sorts, recommends a tonic, a nervine, a foot-bath of water as hot as they can bear it to THE KITCHEN IN THE HOME. 397 draw the fever from the head ; a mustard-plaster for the pit of the stomach, six cathartic liver pills to be taken at night and a horrid black draught to be drunk in the morning, and the poor man fancies he must be better and eats a pocketful of hard nuts, several unripe peaches, a clam-chowder or a dish of pork and beans, and then says the druggist is a fraud and medicine a humbug, and that life is not worth living, and wishes he were dead. Women vary this programme by pots of green tea, candies and heavy cake, or hot bread, with ice- cream and lemonade and any other irrecohcilables they can get hold of Their children follow their example, and then wonder why their teeth decay and they feel so cross and uncomfortable and grow so sallow in complexion. Meanwhile, the pastry cook, confectioner, fruiterer, druggist and undertaker make a good profit out of the bodies they thus abuse ; and when the family doctor is called in and writes his prescription he knows very well that it will bs of no service until they change their mode of living, which is just what they will not do. It is the kitchen in the home, not the doctor, that can remedy these ills. Plain, wholesome, nourishing food, made pleasant to the appetite by good cooking, will do more than drugs and doctors to set these groaning dyspeptics right. But the good food is too often spoiled by the bad cooking, and some cooks seem almost to take pains to cook badly. It is just as easy and just as difficult to do a thing the right way as to do it the wrong way, yet to hear some' people talk about cooking one would think it required a lifetime to learn how to cook a steak or boil a potato. Of course, there is some art required even in the simplest piece of work. To boil an egg so that it be neither a lukewarm fluid nor a hard and flavorless ball is difficult, because it is difficult to keep one's attention fixed for four min- utes upon a given process, but it is easy if one fi.xes one's mind upon the clock and the boiling water. The number of those, however, who can really be trusted to boil an egg is surprisingly f:w. Most people are like King Alfred the Great who promised to mind the cakes on the fire, but forgot all about them, and very justly got his ears boxed 25 39S THE hearthstone; or, life at home.

AI-modernized reading of the original text

Then, perhaps, late at night, when the stomach, like the brain, should not be called upon to do hard work, they cram down hunches of new bread and slices of cheese and butter, with perhaps a glass of milk and some pickles with vinegar to turn the whole sour, and then they get up in the night and rave and tear their hair and wonder what is the matter with them, and why they cannot get a wink of sleep. Next morning they feel bad and drink mineral waters before breakfast, thus further injuring the coats of the stomach, and they go through the day feeling that they are very badly used, and accusing every smiling face they meet of mocking at their misery, and wishing some one would only quarrel with them so as to give them an opportunity of speaking their mind and relieving their ill humor. The druggist tells them that they are utterly out of sorts, recommends a tonic, a nervine, a foot-bath of water as hot as they can bear it to THE KITCHEN IN THE HOME. 397 draw the fever from the head ; a mustard-plaster for the pit of the stomach, six cathartic liver pills to be taken at night and a horrid black draught to be drunk in the morning, and the poor man fancies he must be better and eats a pocketful of hard nuts, several unripe peaches, a clam-chowder or a dish of pork and beans, and then says the druggist is a fraud and medicine a humbug, and that life is not worth living, and wishes he were dead. Women vary this programme by pots of green tea, candies and heavy cake, or hot bread, with icecream and lemonade and any other irreconcilables they can get hold of Their children follow their example, and then wonder why their teeth decay and they feel so cross and uncomfortable and grow so sallow in complexion. Meanwhile, the pastry cook, confectioner, fruiterer, druggist and undertaker make a good profit out of the bodies they thus abuse ; and when the family doctor is called in and writes his prescription he knows very well that it will be of no service until they change their mode of living, which is just what they will not do. It is the kitchen in the home, not the doctor, that can remedy these ills. Plain, wholesome, nourishing food, made pleasant to the appetite by good cooking, will do more than drugs and doctors to set these groaning dyspeptics right. But the good food is too often spoiled by the bad cooking, and some cooks seem almost to take pains to cook badly. It is just as easy and just as difficult to do a thing the right way as to do it the wrong way, yet to hear some' people talk about cooking one would think it required a lifetime to learn how to cook a steak or boil a potato. Of course, there is some art required even in the simplest piece of work. To boil an egg so that it be neither a lukewarm fluid nor a hard and flavorless ball is difficult, because it is difficult to keep one's attention fixed for four minutes upon a given process, but it is easy if one fixes one's mind upon the clock and the boiling water. The number of those, however, who can really be trusted to boil an egg is surprisingly f:w. Most people are like King Alfred the Great who promised to mind the cakes on the fire, but forgot all about them, and very justly got his ears boxed 39S THE hearthstone; or, life at home.

The hearthstone; or, Life at home