To Sancho Panza, at any rate, he seemed the greatest hero
in the world, and to be his body-servant and follow him on a donkey
through all his exploits seemed a position both of dignity and glory.
If the proverb that " No man is a hero to his valet " were wholly
true — for, of course, there are times when a hero is not heroic, as
when he is battling with mosquitoes instead of the enemy — then we
should be brought to the melancholy conclusion that heroism is not
in the man, but in the accidents of the man, and that no character is
so noble as to bear knowing with its robes of office taken off This
is happily the very contrary of the truth.
So with that other proverb, " Familiarity breeds contempt," it is
only true when the person one becomes familiar with is really con-
temptible, and when intimate knowledge reveals the worthlessness of
his character. But intimate knowledge does not always make this
revelation, for constant familiarity and intimacy with others too often
blind us to their faults instead of opening our eyes to them. It is
with men and women of the baser sort as Pope has said of vice :
3i6 THE hearthstone; or, life at home.
" Vice is a monster of so frightful mien
As to lie hated needs but to be seen;
But seen too oft, familiar with its face.
We first endure, then pity, then embrace."
Familiarity certainly does not breed contempt for the good. It may
show us their weak points and reveal our weak points to them ; but
those weaknesses rather endear friends to each other than create con-
tempt on either side. " With all thy faults I love thee still," is a trite
quotation, but it truly describes what intimacy does when there is
real friendship.
It is not desirable, however, to begin an intimacy with persons of
weaker character than ourselves. They will oftener pull us down to
their level than we succeed in raising them to ours. Some men and
women seem to delight in a feeling of calm superiority to their friends,
and they choose persons of less virtue or intelligence than themselves
in order to enjoy the tranquil egotism of looking down on them.
The conceited student says to himself, " Dr. Johnson had his Bos-
well to take notes of admiration of him and ask his judgment and
advice upon all occasions ; therefore all superior minds should have
an inferior for their bosom friend. I am a superior mind, and poor,
dear So-and-so is very simple and thinks a deal of me. I will be
Johnson and he shall be my Boswell." But the patronized, snubbed
and paraded follower, who in his simple heart loves his grand friend
and feels honored by his friendship, is sometimes a better if not a
wiser man than his conceited, condescending friend.
What a strange volume of reminiscences could every man and
woman compose in their own silent hours of reflection and introspec-
tion, if they recalled all the friendships they had formed through life
and analyzed the causes that had led to them ! They would think
of one, perhaps, who had really not much in common with them in
thoughts and aspirations, but with whom familiarity had bred friend-
ship, not contempt. They were school-girls or school-boys together,
and some accident, perhaps a quarrel over lessons or play, made
them warm friends for life. They met, perhaps, on a steamboat or a
^ COMPANY IN THE HOME. 317
Page 206
Presented as published in 1883. Historical recipes may not meet modern food-safety standards. Cook from the modern interpretation, not the original instructions.
AI-modernized reading of the original text
To Sancho Panza, at any rate, he seemed the greatest hero in the world, and to be his body-servant and follow him on a donkey through all his exploits seemed a position both of dignity and glory. If the proverb that " No man is a hero to his valet " were wholly true — for, of course, there are times when a hero is not heroic, as when he is battling with mosquitoes instead of the enemy — then we should be brought to the melancholy conclusion that heroism is not in the man, but in the accidents of the man, and that no character is so noble as to bear knowing with its robes of office taken off This is happily the very contrary of the truth.
So with that other proverb, " Familiarity breeds contempt," it is only true when the person one becomes familiar with is really contemptible, and when intimate knowledge reveals the worthlessness of his character. But intimate knowledge does not always make this revelation, for constant familiarity and intimacy with others too often blind us to their faults instead of opening our eyes to them. It is with men and women of the baser sort as Pope has said of vice :
3i6 THE hearthstone; or, life at home.
" Vice is a monster of so frightful mien As to lie hated needs but to be seen; But seen too oft, familiar with its face. We first endure, then pity, then embrace."
Familiarity certainly does not breed contempt for the good. It may show us their weak points and reveal our weak points to them ; but those weaknesses rather endear friends to each other than create contempt on either side. " With all thy faults I love thee still," is a trite quotation, but it truly describes what intimacy does when there is real friendship.
It is not desirable, however, to begin an intimacy with persons of weaker character than ourselves. They will oftener pull us down to their level than we succeed in raising them to ours. Some men and women seem to delight in a feeling of calm superiority to their friends, and they choose persons of less virtue or intelligence than themselves in order to enjoy the tranquil egotism of looking down on them. The conceited student says to himself, " Dr. Johnson had his Boswell to take notes of admiration of him and ask his judgment and advice upon all occasions ; therefore all superior minds should have an inferior for their bosom friend. I am a superior mind, and poor, dear So-and-so is very simple and thinks a deal of me. I will be Johnson and he shall be my Boswell." But the patronized, snubbed and paraded follower, who in his simple heart loves his grand friend and feels honored by his friendship, is sometimes a better if not a wiser man than his conceited, condescending friend.
What a strange volume of reminiscences could every man and woman compose in their own silent hours of reflection and introspection, if they recalled all the friendships they had formed through life and analyzed the causes that had led to them ! They would think of one, perhaps, who had really not much in common with them in thoughts and aspirations, but with whom familiarity had bred friendship, not contempt. They were school-girls or school-boys together, and some accident, perhaps a quarrel over lessons or play, made them warm friends for life. They met, perhaps, on a steamboat or a