I do not allude to people happy in the possession of a
butler absolutely capable of composing, with very little
aid, a fairly good menu, and able to direct the cook in the
manipulation thereof. There are, I know, a few estimable
men of that kind to be found — in point of fact, I am ac-
quainted with three or foui' — but alas ! they are rare to
meet, and even the cleverest of them requires a little di-
plomatic supervision, or he will di-ift into a gi'oove of din-
ners, and tire you with repetitions. Are not the accounts,
THE COOK AND HIS MANAGEMENT. 13
also, of the erudite maitre cV hotel full often prone to cause,
— even at the pretty writing table of the cosy boudoir, —
great searchings of heart ? In other words, must you not
pay for your luxury, and even murmur not in the presence
of the artist who spares you so much trouble ?
Those who are not gifted with patience, those who are
not physically strong, those who have important calls
upon their time away from home, and, of coiu'se, those
who do not feel capable of directing culinary operations,
cannot do better than entrust the management of their
kitchens to alien heads ; but all who are equal to the task,
should take the helm in their own hands, rememberino"
that ancient canon, — " if you want a thing well done, do
it yourself,"
I place those who have not patience first on the list of
persons whom I deem incapable of managing their cooks.
I do so advisedly, for of all failings inimical to the success-
ful direction of a native servant, a hasty temper is the
most fatal. The moment you betray irritation and hasti-
ness in your manner towards Hamasamy, he ceases to
follow you. His brain becomes busy in the consultation
of his personal safety, and not in the consideration of the
plat you may be endeavouring to discuss with him. In
this matter I, of course, address my readers of the sterner
sex. Ladies, I know, are never angry, and even when a
little put out, do they not contrive to veil their feelings
with a sweet subtlety which men can envy, yet never hope
to acquire ?
Once upon a time I knew very intimately the Mess Pre-
sident of a Regiment (not yet forgotten I fancy at Ban-
galore) who possessed to an eminent degree the qualities
necessary for his difficult position. He was an acknow-
ledged connoisseur in wines, excelled in the composition
of a menu, and rejoiced in a bountiful development of the
2
14 CULINARY JOTTINGS FOR MADRAS.
bump of management. Long association, liowever, with
one of tlie best Messmen a Regiment ever had in England
had spoilt my friend for the up-hill task of managing
Kamasamy. The consequence was that the ordering of a
dinner with him was generally productive of nn mauvais
quart cVheure. I remember, one special day, hearing my
friend's voice raised to its highest pitch ; presently the
door of the little room he occuiDied as an office flew open,
and out rushed the cook, followed by his preceptor ^-iolet
in the face with wrath. The unhappy menial, in a state
of hopeless mental aberration, had taken down that he
was to hoil the pclte de foie gras, and ice the asparagus !*
I was called in as interpreter and peace-maker, and many
a moraing after that did I convey my friend's orders to
the mess cook.
Page 8
Presented as published in 1885. Historical recipes may not meet modern food-safety standards. Cook from the modern interpretation, not the original instructions.
AI-modernized reading of the original text
I do not allude to people happy in the possession of a butler absolutely capable of composing, with very little aid, a fairly good menu, and able to direct the cook in the manipulation thereof. There are, I know, a few estimable men of that kind to be found — in point of fact, I am acquainted with three or four — but alas ! they are rare to meet, and even the cleverest of them requires a little diplomatic supervision, or he will drift into a groove of dinners, and tire you with repetitions. Are not the accounts,
THE COOK AND HIS MANAGEMENT. 13
also, of the erudite maitre d' hotel full often prone to cause, — even at the pretty writing table of the cosy boudoir, — great searchings of heart ? In other words, must you not pay for your luxury, and even murmur not in the presence of the artist who spares you so much trouble ?
Those who are not gifted with patience, those who are not physically strong, those who have important calls upon their time away from home, and, of course, those who do not feel capable of directing culinary operations, cannot do better than entrust the management of their kitchens to alien heads ; but all who are equal to the task, should take the helm in their own hands, remembering that ancient canon, — " if you want a thing well done, do it yourself,"
I place those who have not patience first on the list of persons whom I deem incapable of managing their cooks. I do so advisedly, for of all failings inimical to the successful direction of a native servant, a hasty temper is the most fatal. The moment you betray irritation and hastiness in your manner towards Hamasamy, he ceases to follow you. His brain becomes busy in the consultation of his personal safety, and not in the consideration of the plat you may be endeavouring to discuss with him. In this matter I, of course, address my readers of the sterner sex. Ladies, I know, are never angry, and even when a little put out, do they not contrive to veil their feelings with a sweet subtlety which men can envy, yet never hope to acquire ?
Once upon a time I knew very intimately the Mess President of a Regiment (not yet forgotten I fancy at Bangalore) who possessed to an eminent degree the qualities necessary for his difficult position. He was an acknowledged connoisseur in wines, excelled in the composition of a menu, and rejoiced in a bountiful development of the
bump of management. Long association, however, with one of tlie best Messmen a Regiment ever had in England had spoilt my friend for the up-hill task of managing Kamasamy. The consequence was that the ordering of a dinner with him was generally productive of nn mauvais quart cVheure. I remember, one special day, hearing my friend's voice raised to its highest pitch ; presently the door of the little room he occupied as an office flew open, and out rushed the cook, followed by his preceptor violet in the face with wrath. The unhappy menial, in a state of hopeless mental aberration, had taken down that he was to hoil the pâté de foie gras, and ice the asparagus !* I was called in as interpreter and peace-maker, and many a moraing after that did I convey my friend's orders to the mess cook.