The Institute cook book

In making an introduction the gentleman is always presented to the lady, and the names should be pronounced as distinctly as possible: nothing is more discourteous to one's guests than a muttered introduction. The ordinary form is: "Mrs. Brown, allow me to present Mr. Smith." In the same way a young woman is presented to an older one, an unmarried woman to a matron, a young man to an older one, though these rules are sometimes modified in deference to age or station. For instance, a young, unmarried woman would be presented to a very old gentleman or to a dignitary of Church or State. In introducing two women the form mentioned in the preceding paragraph is used, or simply "Mrs. Brown, this is Mrs. Smith." The latter form is preferable where there is doubt as to which is entitled to the presentation. The tactful hostess usually adds to any introduction some remark which will enable the guests to converse more readily. 2 13 She may say, for instance, "Mrs. Brown, allow me to present Mrs. Smith, who has just returned from London"; or," Mrs. Smith, this is Mrs. Brown: two such ardent bridge players should know each other." There are very few persons who will not be grateful for some such hint. Seating the Guests The servant watches the number of guests and when all have arrived announces dinner. Or, in case of a belated guest, he waits for a signal from the hostess. When dinner is announced, the host offers his right arm to the lady who is to sit at his right. The other couples follow; then, last, the hostess with the gentleman who is to sit at her right. Guests are enabled to find their places easily by means of " place cards," on which the name of each guest is distinctly written. Confusion in seating the guests is thus avoided, and it can be arranged to have congenial persons near each other. The host and hostess may sit at the ends of the table or in the middle of each side. The lady who is to be especially honored sits on the host's right, she who is to be honored next, on his left. Similarly two gentlemen are honored by seats on the right and left of the hostess. The hostess should, as far as possible, bring together only guests who "mix well," and should select the dinner partners tactfully. Two very quiet people should not be seated together, or two who have very decided opinions, or two who are known to be uncongenial. The dinner should be a feast of good things other than food, and conversation should be as entertaining as possible. Upon host and hostess, of course, devolves the duty of keeping conversation alive, though the guests are expected to do their part. Many a hostess has saved the day by a bon mot or a tactful change of subject. Some women are born hostesses : most women can be made, or, rather, can make themselves successful hostesses. The chief essentials are tact, which is the saving grace of all women, the ability to be interested in many things, and true kindliness. Courtesy, after all— that is, true courtesy— is a matter of the heart, and is not dependent upon any knowledge of social usages. Some women, notably poor conversationaHsts, are still very charmmg hostesses. In them thoughtfulness and tact make up for lack of brilliancy. One thing, however, is of first importance for the hostess' U