Your young female friends should never be allowed to tease
or banter you into the betrayal of this secret. You cannot turn
your ingenuity to better account than by using it to baffle their
curiosity. Some girls are tempted to tell of an offer and refu-
sal in order to account for a cessation of those att«ntions
on the part of the gentleman which have before been so con-
stant and marked as to be observed by their friends. But this
is not a sufficient reason for telling another person's secret.
You cannot always prevent a suspicion of the truth, but you
should never confirm it by any disclosure of yours.
If you are so situated as to meet the gentleman whose hand
you have refused, you should do so with frank cordiality, and
put him at ease by behaving as if nothing particular had passed
between you. If this manner of yours is so far mistaken as to
lead to a renewal of the offer, let him see as soon as possible
that he has nothing to hope from importunity, and that if he
would preserve your friendship he must seek for nothing more.
Always endeavor to make true friends of your rejected lovers
by the delicacy and honor with which you treat them. If,
when your own conduct has been unexceptionable, your refu-
sal to marry a man produces resentment, it argues some fault
of character in him, and can only be lamented in silence.
Never think the less of a man because he has been refused,
even if it be by a lady whom you do not value highly. It is
nothing to his disadvantage. In exercising their privilege of
making the first advances, the wisest will occasionally make
great mistakes, and the best will often be drawn into an affair
of this sort against their better judgment, and both are but too
happy^ if they escape with only the pain of being refused. So
far from its being any reason for not accepting a good and
wise. man when he offers himself to you, it should only increase
your thankfulness to the Power which reserved him for you,
anil to the lady through whose instrumentality he is still free
to choose.
5^ ETIQUETTE.
Bridal Luqueltc. — Assuming thcvt the important day is
lixcd, and that ihe bidden guests have accepted the invitation,
tlie grand preoccupation of the feniale part of the lady's family
is to prepare the bridal outfit or trousseau, which must be in
accordance with the circumstances of the bride's family. Nev-
ertheless, as it is an expense that few mothers grudge, they
generally take an a.ffectionate pride in rendering the outfit as
complete as possible. We have heard of outfits in the class of
wealthy mercliants comprising twelve dozen chemises, trimmed
with lace, a large assortment cf slips, trim.med with cm.broidered
bands, others plainer for morning use, an endless abundance
of elegant night-caps, and countless jDairs cf Ltcckirgs, frcm
the silk hose and the gossamer-like open-v/ork stcckirrs, down
to the solid stocking for a country rambic. Dressing-gowns,
muslin and silk dresses, and mantiilas, should also be com-
prised in the outfit, as well as several bcnnets, or hats, and
suitable wrappings for winter. These Vvl.o cannot afford such
luxuries must substitute fewer articles cf a more modest and
durable kind. Such a stock is an invaluable groundwork to
start with, and, by supplying gradually each article as it wears
out, the lady's wardrobe can be renewed without great expense.
Page 32
Presented as published in 1883. Historical recipes may not meet modern food-safety standards. Cook from the modern interpretation, not the original instructions.
AI-modernized reading of the original text
Your young female friends should never be allowed to tease or banter you into the betrayal of this secret. You cannot turn your ingenuity to better account than by using it to baffle their curiosity. Some girls are tempted to tell of an offer and refusal in order to account for a cessation of those attentions on the part of the gentleman which have before been so constant and marked as to be observed by their friends. But this is not a sufficient reason for telling another person's secret. You cannot always prevent a suspicion of the truth, but you should never confirm it by any disclosure of yours.
If you are so situated as to meet the gentleman whose hand you have refused, you should do so with frank cordiality, and put him at ease by behaving as if nothing particular had passed between you. If this manner of yours is so far mistaken as to lead to a renewal of the offer, let him see as soon as possible that he has nothing to hope from importunity, and that if he would preserve your friendship he must seek for nothing more. Always endeavor to make true friends of your rejected lovers by the delicacy and honor with which you treat them. If, when your own conduct has been unexceptionable, your refusal to marry a man produces resentment, it argues some fault of character in him, and can only be lamented in silence.
Never think the less of a man because he has been refused, even if it be by a lady whom you do not value highly. It is nothing to his disadvantage. In exercising their privilege of making the first advances, the wisest will occasionally make great mistakes, and the best will often be drawn into an affair of this sort against their better judgment, and both are but too happy if they escape with only the pain of being refused. So far from its being any reason for not accepting a good and wise. man when he offers himself to you, it should only increase your thankfulness to the Power which reserved him for you, anil to the lady through whose instrumentality he is still free to choose.
Bridal Etiquette. — Assuming that the important day is fixed, and that the bidden guests have accepted the invitation, the grand preoccupation of the female part of the lady's family is to prepare the bridal outfit or trousseau, which must be in accordance with the circumstances of the bride's family. Nevertheless, as it is an expense that few mothers grudge, they generally take an affectionate pride in rendering the outfit as complete as possible. We have heard of outfits in the class of wealthy merchants comprising twelve dozen chemises, trimmed with lace, a large assortment of slips, trimmed with embroidered bands, others plainer for morning use, an endless abundance of elegant night-caps, and countless pairs of stockings, from the silk hose and the gossamer-like open-work stockings, down to the solid stocking for a country ramble. Dressing-gowns, muslin and silk dresses, and mantillas, should also be comprised in the outfit, as well as several bonnets, or hats, and suitable wrappings for winter. Those who cannot afford such luxuries must substitute fewer articles of a more modest and durable kind. Such a stock is an invaluable groundwork to start with, and, by supplying gradually each article as it wears out, the lady's wardrobe can be renewed without great expense.