State your opinion without apology. The attitude is the main point, assuring your
companion that, come good news or come bad, you remain in good heart and good mind,
which is the best news you can possibly communicate. Self-control is the rule. You have
in you there a noisy, sensual savage which you are to keep down, and turn all his strength
to beauty. For example, what a seneschal and detective is laughter ! It seems to require
several generations of education to train a squeaking or a shouting habit out of a man.
Sometimes, when in almost all expressions the Choctavv and the slave have been worked
out of him, a coarse nature still betrays itself in his contemptible squeals of joy. It is
necessary for the purification of drawing-rooms, that these entertaining explosions should
be under strict control. Lord Chesterfield had early made this discovery, for he says: "I
am sure that since I had the use of my reason, no human being has ever heard me laugh."
I know that there go two to this game, and in the presence of certain formidable wits,
savage nature must sometimes rush out in some disorder.
If a man have manners and talent he may dress roughly and carelessly. It is only when
31
32 HOME DISSERTATIONS.
mind and character slumber that the dress can be seen. If the intellect were always awake,
and every noble sentiment, the man might go in huckaback or mats, and his dress would
be admired and imitated. Remember George Herbert's maxim: " This coat with my dis-
cretion will be brave." If, however, a man has not firm nerves, and has keen sensibilities,
it is perhaps a wise economy to go to a good shop and dress himself irreproachably. He
can then dismiss all care from his mind, and may easily find that performance an addition
of confidence, a fortification that turns the scale in social encounters, and allows him to go
gaily into conversations where else he had been dry and embarrassed. I am not ignorant,
— I have heard with admiring submission the experience of the lady who declared "that
the sense of being perfectly well dressed gives a feeling of inward tranquility which relig-
• ion is powerless to bestow."
I "Courtesy and politeness are matters worthy the attention of even the honorable and
fortunate, no person whether private or public, ever reached that lofty position, from
whence he could afford to disdain all thoughts of etiquette and manners."
Our gentlemen of the old school, that is, of the school of Washington, Adams, and
Hamilton, were bred after English types, and that style of breeding furnishes fine
examples in the last generation; but, though some of us have seen such, I doubt they are
all gone. But nature is not poorer to-day. With all our haste and slipshod ways, and
flippant self-assertion, I have seen examples of new grace and power in address that honor
the country. It was my fortune not long ago, with my eyes directed on this subject, to
fall in with an American to be proud of. I said never was such force, good meaning,
good sense, good action, combined with such domestic lovely behavior, such modesty and
persistent preference for others. The whole of heraldry and chivalry is in courtesy.
Page 24
Presented as published in 1891. Historical recipes may not meet modern food-safety standards. Cook from the modern interpretation, not the original instructions.
AI-modernized reading of the original text
State your opinion without apology. The attitude is the main point, assuring your companion that, come good news or come bad, you remain in good heart and good mind, which is the best news you can possibly communicate. Self-control is the rule. You have in you there a noisy, sensual savage which you are to keep down, and turn all his strength to beauty. For example, what a seneschal and detective is laughter ! It seems to require several generations of education to train a squeaking or a shouting habit out of a man. Sometimes, when in almost all expressions the Choctavv and the slave have been worked out of him, a coarse nature still betrays itself in his contemptible squeals of joy. It is necessary for the purification of drawing-rooms, that these entertaining explosions should be under strict control. Lord Chesterfield had early made this discovery, for he says: "I am sure that since I had the use of my reason, no human being has ever heard me laugh." I know that there go two to this game, and in the presence of certain formidable wits, savage nature must sometimes rush out in some disorder.
If a man have manners and talent he may dress roughly and carelessly. It is only when
mind and character slumber that the dress can be seen. If the intellect were always awake, and every noble sentiment, the man might go in huckaback or mats, and his dress would be admired and imitated. Remember George Herbert's maxim: " This coat with my discretion will be brave." If, however, a man has not firm nerves, and has keen sensibilities, it is perhaps a wise economy to go to a good shop and dress himself irreproachably. He can then dismiss all care from his mind, and may easily find that performance an addition of confidence, a fortification that turns the scale in social encounters, and allows him to go gaily into conversations where else he had been dry and embarrassed. I am not ignorant, — I have heard with admiring submission the experience of the lady who declared "that the sense of being perfectly well dressed gives a feeling of inward tranquility which religion is powerless to bestow."
I "Courtesy and politeness are matters worthy the attention of even the honorable and fortunate, no person whether private or public, ever reached that lofty position, from whence he could afford to disdain all thoughts of etiquette and manners."
Our gentlemen of the old school, that is, of the school of Washington, Adams, and Hamilton, were bred after English types, and that style of breeding furnishes fine examples in the last generation; but, though some of us have seen such, I doubt they are all gone. But nature is not poorer to-day. With all our haste and slipshod ways, and flippant self-assertion, I have seen examples of new grace and power in address that honor the country. It was my fortune not long ago, with my eyes directed on this subject, to fall in with an American to be proud of. I said never was such force, good meaning, good sense, good action, combined with such domestic lovely behavior, such modesty and persistent preference for others. The whole of heraldry and chivalry is in courtesy.