Cooking for profit

"As a general thing the city boarder wants the full value of his money when sojourning in the country, and is hard to please. He will criticise the meat and say that it cannot be compared with that which he gets in the city. This may be true, if he really gets first rate city food. Our opinion is that the farmer's wife who takes boarders should confine herself to those dishes which she knows how to cook well — to the stews and the pot-pies. Her deserts should be ample puddings, especially in the season of fruits, the city boarder, who is always hungry in the country, does not care for thin and stingy little slices of cake and a spoonful of sweetmeats. The problem usually is, where can we have still salt water bathing and boating, shade, a quiet farmhouse where the people go to bed early, and where the food is plentiful, without being extravagantly fine, at a cheap price? These questioners always have children, big and little. The busy boarding-house of popular seaside resorts are not suitable for people who are disposed to be quiet and do not wish to be kept awake until after midnight by the banging of a cracked piano, by silly laughter and by noisy dancing. So that the quiet family which should like to be in a farmer's house on a still bay, with both a beach and shady trees, finds itself hard to please, especially when it wishes to pay about five dollars a head. The farmer's wife who has such a place is usually shy of boarders, and looks at them as if they are always dissatisfied, and is not disposed to take them at all. If she is, we have not heard of her at all. But the papers will soon be full of adver- tisements of boarding places and people will be seeking for what they will never get. After all it is a problem. Who will explain?" THE PREVAILING DISCONTENT. It was a little country inn Without a bill-of-fare. They simply set forth what they had; Variety was spare. A man of cranky appetite Sat at this humble board, And was no sooner served than he Thus started in and jawed. "Take hence this hammered bit of steak " Remove this old hen's legs. " Withdraw this bitter chicory — " And bring some scrambled eggs.** "Alas I" replied the table girl, " To please you much I'd like. " Some little discontent prevails — " The hens are on a strike." " What is the cause.?" the traveler asked. "It's simply this," she stated, "The glass nest egg's out of style. "They want'em decorated:^ — New Tork Hotel Register. AU CAFE. You're a natty little waiter, O, Fraulein ! To my wants you always cater. When I dine; And you have no irritating Way of keeping people waiting, And your smile is captivating, I opine. You are dressed so nicely, O, Fraulein! All my feelings so precisely You divine: That from soup to tutti fruttiy You're acquainted with your duty; And utility with beauty You combine. You are skilled in fancy cooking, O, Fraulein ! You are the maid for whom I'm looking For my shrine. Tho' I have not wealth nor title, Prithee, list to my recital, Give my fond love some requital, O, be mine! So you actually are laughing. And decline? And my sentiment you're chaffing, And say: " Nein?" At my proffered love you laugh; eh? What I you are a better half, eh? Of the man who keeps this cafef O, Fraulein 1 — Chicago Rambler. TO IVIAKE AN ASTONISHING EGG.