Practical home cookery

Now some of these directions may seem unnecessary, on account of their being so very obvious. But then it must be borne in mind that there are Mary Anns whose stupidity is absolutely unfathomable. I recollect, many years ago, being in lodgings at the seaside — it was at Worthing — where I met two specimens in the shape of mistress and servant who would, I think, match any pair ever likely to come together again. The mistress, who was also cook, seemed to require a considerable amount of stimulant, and under its influence the following scraps of conversation could be heard at intervals throughout the day : — “ Please, mum, where’s the rolling-pin ? ” “I’ll rolling-pin yer ! ’’ On asking whether there were any eggs, the unfortunate girl said : “ I think there’s some in the cupboard,’’ which called forth : “ Now, Mary Ann, what do you mean by thinking ? Never let me hear you think again ! ’’ The climax in the way of cooking was a fruit pie, as the handmaiden informed us : “ Please, sir, missus is very sorry, but she forgot the butter.” The pastry, as may be imagined, was not what may be called light ; however, the crust came off as a lid, and we amused ourselves by spinning it like a teetotum. Of course, such cases are exceptional, but I have known a grouse stuffed with sage and onion. On another occasion a couple were sent to a farmer’s wife to be got ready for lunch. This was adjoining the moor where they were shot. The party, to their astonishment, found them boiled. While the fish is draining is a good opportunity to fry a little parsley to put round it. All that is required is fresh, clean parsley — dry. A minute is sufficient to leave it in the fat, if the fat boils. Take out the parsley with a slice, and let it dry on the cloth by the side of the fish. It will soon become crisp. A large wire slice will be found better than an ordinary one. If the fish has been large, and the frying-pan rather small, it is quite possible that in turning the fish a little of the bread-crumbs may get knocked off, though with care this ought not to be the case. When, however, it is, you can always mend the patch with a pinch of raspings. Now, the greatest difficulty in following these directions will probably be found to be “ the quantity of fat.” It is always a sore point with the cooks. They look upon fat as one of their perquisites, and too often the mistress will find that she has to be constantly ordering in a skin of lard, or has to order dripping, in order to fry fish. Recollect, however, that the same fat will do to fry fish over and over again — though it should be kept entirely for fish — and that it will often keep for months. Cooks are too fond, from interested motives, of making it out bad. It will be found in small families an excellent rule to forbid fat and grease being sold at all. Were ladies to insist on this, which they could always do with young servants, much mischief would be avoided. Selling dripping and candle-grease is often the thin end of the wedge to downright theft. The class of people who buy are too often little better than receivers of stolen property, and sometimes lead young servants into small acts of dishonesty, in order to get them in their power, the consequence of which is that small acts are followed by great.