The bachelor and the chafing dish

“ Ya-as,” he said, “there was a time aw — it was a ccnsiderwable perwiod aw ago — when I thought it would be awfully jolly, ye know, to be what some aw literwarwy fellaws, artist fellaws, and some fel- laws interwested in the dwama, call a Bohemian. I don’t pwecisely know how to descwibethe charwac- tah of a Bohemian, but in a generwal way it is supposed to be a aw fellaw who is not fond of cer- wemony or of doing everwything in a cut-and- dwied mannah. “ I got the ideah fwom weading some aw Fwench books when I was at Cambwidge. I don’t mean, ye know, the Amerwican aw Cambwidge, which I believe is also a descwiption of college, but the English Cambwidge aw. Fitznoodle s Chafing-dish. 4$ u By the way, it’s doosid awkward having the Same name aw faw such places, and must aw fwe- quently lead to erwahs. “ In twying to be a Bohemian I used to gives up- pahs in my wooms in Twinity College. Jack, who was aw in those days a cornet in a wahtah cwack cavalwy wegiment, used occasionally to wun down to see me and aw suggested on one occasion that it would not be at all a bad ideah to pwactice cook- erwy and the pweparwations of varwious edibles in connection with a chafing-dish. Jack wemarked he had made aw quite a success of it in barwacks. “ I aw don’t think my name will be handed down to posterwity as a particulahly superwiah cook, but it weally afforded me and the othah fellaws in Twinity considerwable wecweation. “ We didn’t aw welish the arwangements I pwe- parwed in the chafing-dish, but serving them cweated hilarwity, and I aw indeed often laughed quite fweely. One fellaw, just befaw exam, faw the aw degwee, got weady a verwy widiculous examination papah, containing comical and humorwous ques- tions, the aw answers to which would weveal the pwoficiency any fellaw had acquired in the aw science of chafing-dish cookerwy. “ Of course it wasn’t weally aw necessarwy to we- ply to these questions in ordah to pass an examina- 4 6 The Bachelor and the Chafing-dish. tion — the fellaws only did it to have a aw jolly lark, ye know. ‘‘My memorwy is not verwy good, but among the aw dishes I twied to pwepare in my chafing-dish experwiments were aw Welsh wabbits, aw bwoiled lobstahs, aw large Bwitish cwabs, two or thrwee kinds of fwicassees and Colchestah natives — they’re oystahs, ye know — cooked in a mannah which has escaped my wecollection. “ Many fellaws wemarked aftah I had gwown tired of my chafing-dish that there was an ex- twemely wapid disappearwance of the dyspepsia fwom which they had been sufferwing aw.” OILING THING5 One day I was walking along Forty- second Street with George, when we paused to look at some curious con- trivances in a large show-window of “a house-furnishing store.” There were two machines so mysterious and intricate that we resolved to go in and inquire of a gentlemanly clerk, if he could be found, exactly as to their uses. The clerk proved to be gen- tlemanly enough, but extremely non- committal. He treated our subsequent surprise as a personal insinuation. Whether he had any hopes of selling either of us the first machine I have never learned. He placed it before us with that American complaisance that distinguishes and makes brighter the life of Chauncey 1) Depew, and ex- plained to us its workings as well as 48 The Bachelor and the Chafing-dish.